Soupy Sales Pratfalls into Heaven

Soupy Sales, the rubber-faced comedian who made an art form out of taking a pie in the face and delighted a generation of Detroiters with his loopy TV show on Channel 7 in the 1950s, died Thursday night in New York.

Sales, who had been in ill health for several years, was 83. His former manager, Dave Usher, said Sales last week entered a Bronx hospice, where he died. He is survived by his wife, Trudy, and two sons, Hunt and Tony.

No one had the silly fella.

Captain Lou Wrestles Death and Loses...

Legendary wrestling figure Captain Lou Albano, perhaps best known for his association with pop singer Cyndi Lauper, died Wednesday, according to World Wrestling Entertainment.

Albano, 76, was "one of the company's most popular and charismatic legends," the company said in a statement.

The cause of death was not immediately disclosed.

"Albano began his storied career with Vincent J. McMahon in the 1960s as one half of 'The Sicilians' tag team with his partner Tony Altimore," the WWE said. "He will be greatly missed by the WWE and his fans."

Albano, who was with the WWE from 1983 to 1996, was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 1996.

He started as a tag team wrestler in the 1950s but became a successful manager of champion wrestlers in the 1970s, according to a biography on the WWE Web site.

No one had him.

One Too Many Kool Aids -- Susan Atkins Finally Dies

Susan Atkins, a follower of cult leader Charles Manson whose remorseless witness stand confession to killing pregnant actress Sharon Tate in 1969 shocked the world, has died. She was 61 and had been suffering from brain cancer.

Atkins' death comes less than a month after a parole board turned down the terminally ill woman's last chance at freedom on Sept. 2. She was brought to the hearing on a gurney and slept through most of it.

California Department of Corrections spokeswoman Terry Thornton said that Atkins died late Thursday night. She had been diagnosed with brain cancer in 2008, had a leg amputated and was given only a few months to live.

She underwent brain surgery, and in her last months was paralyzed and had difficulty speaking. But she managed to speak briefly at the Sept. 2 hearing, reciting religious verse with the help of her husband, attorney James Whitehouse.

A bunch of you earned the 39 points!

Lucky bastards...

Puff! Mary Travers is Dust in the Wind... Dude...

Mary Travers, one-third of the hugely popular 1960s folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary, has died.

The band's publicist, Heather Lylis, says Travers died at Danbury Hospital in Connecticut on Wednesday. She was 62 and had battled leukemia for several years.

Travers joined forces with Peter Yarrow and Noel Paul Stookey in the early 1960s.

The trio mingled their music with liberal politics, both onstage and off. Their version of "If I Had a Hammer" became an anthem for racial equality. Other hits included "Lemon Tree,""Leaving on a Jet Plane" and "Puff (The Magic Dragon.)"

They were early champions of Bob Dylan and performed his "Blowin' in the Wind" at the August 1963 March on Washington.

ONE player had her and earned a prime 37 unique points.

Patrick Swayze Becomes... a Ghost....

Patrick Swayze is dead at the age of 57 after a long battle with pancreatic cancer, his publicist said Monday night.

Swayze, known for his roles in "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January 2008.

The actor's health has declined since the diagnosis and during his filming of his A&E series "The Beast," which aired last year.

He is survived by wife Lisa Niemi, whom he married in 1975

43 points to some lucky folks who took a chance.

Murderer Ted Kennedy Dies From Cancer

Celebrated murderer Ted Kennedy died today.

Lots of you sick bastards get 23 points for picking him.

Massachusetts Sen. Edward Kennedy, the patriarch of the first family of Democratic politics, died late Tuesday at his home in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts. He was 77.

Kennedy, known as the "Lion of the Senate," died after a lengthy battle with brain cancer.

"We've lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever," a family statement said. "We thank everyone who gave him care and support over this last year, and everyone who stood with him for so many years in his tireless march for progress toward justice."

No WhoDUNNEit in Dunne Death...Cancer

More death in the afternoon:

Writer Dominick Dunne has died, Vanity Fair is reporting. He was 83.

He died of bladder cancer today at home in Manhattan, said his son, actor-director Griffin Dunne.

Dunne was a best-selling author who also spent 25 years as a correspondent and editor with Vanity Fair. He covered some of the most celebrated figures and their legal travails.

No one was able to pick up 17 points today.

Producer Produces... Death! Don Hewitt Lives Past 60 Minutes

Don Hewitt, who created the enduring CBS television newsmagazine “60 Minutes” and was its sole executive producer for 35 years, has died. He was 86.

He died of pancreatic cancer today at his home in Bridgehampton, N.Y., CBS News reported on its Web site.

Although he often said he wanted to die at his desk, Hewitt relinquished his “60 Minutes” post in June 2004 in exchange for a 10-year contract to serve as a producer-at-large for CBS News, giving him a say in the network’s news programming.

“I’m going to be the resident pain in the ass,” he told Broadcasting & Cable magazine when the deal was announced.

Hewitt joined CBS’s fledgling news operation in 1948 before he owned his first television set. He oversaw the 15-minute newscast by Douglas Edwards until it was replaced by Walter Cronkite’s half-hour program in 1963. Hewitt also produced the first television debates between presidential candidates Richard Nixon and John Kennedy in 1960.

Robert Novak Exposes His Own Death... 22 Points to Many

Political columnist Robert Novak, who was a central figure in the Valerie Plame CIA leak case, has died after a battle with brain cancer.

His wife, Geraldine Novak, tells the Chicago Sun-Times that he died at his home in Washington on Tuesday. He was 78.

Novak was long known as the co-host of CNN's "Crossfire" and had been a columnist for the Sun-Times for decades.

He was diagnosed with a brain tumor in July 2008, less than a week after he struck a pedestrian in downtown Washington with his Corvette and drove away.

In recent years, he was perhaps best-known for being the first to publish Plame' name. He came under withering criticism and abuse from many for that column, which Novak says began "a long and difficult episode" in his career.

A whole bunch of you got 22 points.

Les Paul Rocks and Rolls... literally... into his grave...

Legendary guitarist and inventor Les Paul, who pioneered the design of solid body Gibson electric guitars that bore his name, died Thursday at a New York hospital of complications from pneumonia. He was 94.

The rock 'n' roll icon was playing regular gigs at a New York City nightclub as recently as a few months ago until he began battling a series of illnesses that put him "in and out of the hospital," his attorney Michael Braunstein said.

Jets Nation is the only one to pick up 6 points.